листи щастя по-англійськи

Тут в околицях Торонта на фейсбуку гуляє "лист щастя" типу "напиши 25 речей про себе, поміть 25 френдів, і нехай вони зроблять те саме." Ну я зазвичай пас, а тут не стрималася. Осьо:

I generally refuse to take part in this type of virtual viruses, because usually they feel like a subtle form of cheap blackmail, and a social experiment of unknown origin and purpose. As an excuse to allow myself to take part in this one, I’ve broken most of the rules of this game.

I detest having to incline people to do anything, so if I tagged you it’s because I am genuinely interested in what you’d say about your perceptions of things, world and people, about your inclinations and feelings, about your beliefs and convictions. (The rules were, if I tag you, you also write 25 things about yourself and tag me in it so that I could read it.) Having said that, feel free to ignore it, if you are like me and generally refuse to take part in these games.

I secretly love being asked straight questions that would make me think through and figure out the things about myself. In fact, till recently I used to often hold long imaginary dialogues with my people about important issues, problems and conflicts. (They were more like monologues, because the imaginary partner would not say much.)

Theoretically I believe that people do stupid and nasty things only because they haven’t had a chance to grow out of them yet. Practically, though, I wish I acted more in accordance with this belief of mine.

My Indian music teacher told me that he cannot understand my English, because there is no intonation in my speaking. What he meant was that my speaking was not musical, but he was not rude enough to put it that way. I was quite relieved when I observed that there is some intonation in my speaking when I speak Ukrainian. That means I’m not hopeless.

I think I have to finish this PhD, because if I don’t, I would be stuck doing it over again in my next life, and I’d rather do something more useful and more fun. Yes, I do believe in previous and past lives, but I don’t really talk about that unless I’m making a joke about it.

There is nothing more fascinating for me, than figuring out why people (including me) do what they do, feel what they feel, and believe what they believe.

In my teenage years I was known as “a girl with guitar”. I learned to play it mostly by myself, never became very good at it – just good enough not having to think about it while accompanying the singing. I thought I would miss my guitar a lot when I came to Canada and left it behind, but I didn’t.

Sometimes I wish I was more of a peace-maker like my dad is, and more of a hard-working person like my mom apparently was. But then, may be that would be an impossible combination.

I don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t do drugs, don’t swear, don’t eat beef, mushrooms or anything fermented or rotten.

I became quite religious, or, rather, spiritual when I was about 13. I could talk to God while walking on the street. I stopped being religious after I first fell in love at the age of 20. I wonder though, whether I ever stopped being “spiritual”.

I’m not afraid to be attacked directly. In fact, I’ve discovered, that a direct attack makes me free, it allows me to deal with a problem and resolve it (from my side) much more effectively than any unexpressed negativity hanging in the air.

When I was a kid, my dad would take me to the mountains where he was doing research on the growth and multiplication of the mountain pine (pinus mugo). These mountains are the closest to a home that I have. I think that’s the reason why I have very few other memories from the childhood.

I’m writing a dissertation on late Heidegger. Basically, it’s about discovering the ways to experience a deep sense of well-being, and seeing what that experience has to do with the divine. I love late Heidegger.

I’ve grown to love the sea when my friend dragged me to it some five years ago. Last year I was swimming (or rather just hanging around) in the Indian ocean with a few of my quite theatrical roommates at the time, and we were laughing so hard, we almost died there (from laughter, not from drowning).

I have started regular meditation (Sahaja Yoga) about three years ago, and it has changed my life more than I could ever imagine. Sounds cliché, but it’s true.

I’ve realized, I am not really interested in any short-term relationships. I lived in Germany for a year and I have not made one real friend there, for I have too many long-distance friendships already, and they are barely alive, so I could not possibly sustain any more of those.

The craziest thing I’ve done regarding my singing was to go to India for 4 months, to live there in the middle of nowhere and to take lessons in Indian classical vocal. Haven’t leasned much, but it was so awesome, I’d do it again any time. And I will, I have no doubt about that.

My first and only memory from early childhood is about me tricking my grandma into repeatedly putting honey on my pacifier, and being very proud of myself that I have tricked her. I love honey. I love beeswax.

I had a two-year long e-mail correspondence with a famous Ukrainian fiction writer. It died out eventually, but I’m still grateful for it, for I was interesting, funny, enlightening and kind. Sadly, after reading mostly philosophy, I have completely lost the ability to enjoy poetry (unless I’ve known it before) and I lost most of my ability to read fiction. Except a few exceptions, it feels like it’s just too superficial, like nothing happens there and that’s why it’s plain boring to read. I hope the fiction-reading habit will be restored once I get unused to reading philosophy.

I’ve been told my jokes are funny. It makes me feel good, even though most of the times I mean my jokes rather seriously. I’ve changed the proverb, now it says: in every joke there is a part of joke. (Meaning the rest of it is truth. But you got it anyway, right?)

I love potatoes in all forms. Can’t believe, that potatoes were unknown in my country some three hundred years ago. I also love simple Indian food, and while normal people loose weight when they go to India, I still can’t get rid of what I’ve gained there, and it’s been over a year.

In the Jungian scheme of 4 personality traits, intellect, emotion, perception and intuition, my weakest is perception, my strongest is intuition. But I’m working on it – I think this is why a big part of my dissertation is learning to feel out and describe paintings.

I became quite shameless in my early twenties. Looks like I will become quite decent again by my early thirties.

With a bunch of my friends, I’m teaching a free meditation class every Thursday evening at OISE.

I’ve realized recently, I could live somewhat happily in any country in the world. Geographical limitations have stopped affecting me a few years ago. I liked Germany, but I have a feeling, it had nothing to do with Germany.

Sahaja Yoga is too got to be true, and to difficult to be false. It’s become such an important part of me, that if I had to identify myself with three things only, Sahaja Yoga would be one of them.

I am a very convinced believer in non-violence. I don’t believe in revolutions, and I have reverence for evolution (not in strictly biological terms). I believe it actually happens, Fukuyama, or whoever said about the end of history is wrong.

My second year in Canada (the first year of my PhD at York) was the worst year of my life. The best year of my studies at York was the one I spent on exchange in Freiburg, Germany.

I like to do things well, rather than quickly. At least that’s how I justify my need to organize, coordinate and order. I don’t mind when things don’t happen according to the plan, but I prefer to have a plan just in case. Or better even two or three plans, or worked out and prepared.

The best and most effective way to fight the enemy is to ignore. The best way to fight a friend is not to ignore. I actually believe in enemies – not so much as real people, but rather as tendencies, behaviors, feelings and so on. And I do believe in friends big time.

I could go on and on like that for a long-long time, I love to talk about myself (I guess, I’m an interesting person, as picky as I am, I never get bored with myself), but who would want to read all that?

I’m somewhat surprised you’ve read till the end. Your turn now.